Log 11

An appropreate title would probably be "What's Opera, Doc?"

We're back on the ship. Lee was a little moody and was angry at me for some reason. Jeez I was only trying to help. I find out now that M'Rander is still on board, making my efforts useless.The crew went through all that for nothing.

On top of that, the little fortress of solitude I found has been dismantled. I'm guessing the previous captain set it up in case of an attack, and I explained this to Lee, but he wouldn't hear it. If the Borg or somewbody comes and attacks us, we're done for. Game over, man, Game over. But did they listen? Noooooooooooo. But I shouldn't think too ill of them. After all, they are the closest thing I've ever had to a real family outside of my high school clique and wanting to protect them is what started this whole mess in the first place.

Anyway, I was awarded kitchen duity. Normally this would be punishment, but it's worth it. The chef is a Klingon named K'tchp with the voice of an angel. I was impressed at his beautiful rendition of some Klingon Opera, and I peddled a few of my own wares (I did sing in my high school garage band). I think we've gained each other's respect. And although most people would find it horror to be splitting peas for soup with an axe alongside someone who's nickname is "The Brutal Gourmet", hearing him sing makes it all worthwhile.

I think I'm going to like kitchen duity. I just hope I can keep my regular appointments.

Log 10

New log:

Gosh, what a trip. Let me start from the beginning.

So there I am with my new glider, racing towards Ironbottom, when this wormhole opens up and I get sucked into what looks like 20th century Earth. Apparently, I had landed in another dimension. Furthermore, Starfleet is fiction in this dimension and the popular 20th century movie "Men in Black" is real. I know because they kidnapped me, stole my glider, and did weird stuff to my head.

I escaped en-route to their headquarters because of a shoot out, and in my possesseon was a strange device. I got a ride with some locals, but they too mistook me for an alien and bolted, leaving me with a car and a wad of cash.

I met a lot of interesting people en route to Las Vegas (where the strange device was supposedly from; I was going to exchange it for my glider). I met an alien from that dimension, a trigger-happy diner waitress, and some nice Mexicans who gave me a ride when I fixed their truck.

It was then I ran into some bikers who were boasting they could out arm-wrestle anyone. I showed them the hard way that people with fly genes are adept at breaking arms. However, a bigger biker pounded a raincheck into my face, but I outsmarted him. Stole his keys and bike.

Then the device did something unusual, it transported me and the bikers just outside of Colorado. There I met up with Lynx and Dammers, and boy was I happy to see them. Anyway, long story short, I got to Vegas because the Cap'n was taken by the MiB f***ers.

We rondevouzed with the Cap'n, and I found my Glider in a hotel museum. Unfortunately, I had to leave the suit behind because MiB puit a bomb in it. I was lucky to have the glider in tact.

So here I am in my room with my glider on the wall covered by a sheet and a book in my hand. I wonder how long it is before somebody finds me in here?

Brundle out.

Log 9

Well, I never thought it would come to this. I found this place when I first toured the ship. It's amazing no one else knows it's here, given all you can do from here. I could be quite the little gremlin if I wanted to, but my beef is only with M'Rander.

She is still quite unhinged, and not fit for taking over command which she seems to be doing. In our argument I felt like we were fencers in days of yore using our words as swords. Man, I watch too much television.

Still, I do what I do for the crew's safety. Excuse me while I address them

Letter from Seth Brundle to Cap'n Lee, Lynx, Dammers, Lera, and Tempres.

Hi guys.

I write this from a secret unused room somewhere on the ship. I codenamed it "Brundle's fortress of doomy doom". I have access to many computer mainframes from here, and have been monitoring you for the past who knows how long. Don't worry, I haven't seen you shower, you perverts.

I would like to let you know that despite what M'Rander told you, I never directly attacked her. I threw the guards at her in an attempt to stun her so I could escape. I didn't mean to wound her, at least not yet.

She is still not psychologically fit to take the position appointed to her. I admit I went a little overboard, but I am resolved not to make this personal. In that vein I have decided to remove the cause before the symptom.

I have contacted my old friend Norman Osborn to send me blueprints for a single manned flying machine his company invented codenamed "Goblin Glider". I have built one as well as a spacesuit from the ship's scrap metal. I plan to ride this thing off the ship in pursuit of this "Ironbottom". He must be as insane as M'Rander to allow her on board. Either that, or he's got a grudge against us. Either way, it's grounds for demotion.

Please do not try to track me under M'Rander's orders, for I have ordered several holographic decoys set for the moment of my departure. If you wish to reach me, I have built a link to my mailbox, so contact me the old-fashioned way.

I know this looks bad, but I'm doing this for your own good.

Sincerely,

Seth M. Brundle, Ship's Counselor.

Log 8

I am happy. My first patient as counselor happens to be my old boss.

K'Lynxyl, or Lynx as she wants me to call her from now on, wanted my opinions about things concerning her and Dammers. It took every bit of self control not to blurt out "I told you so!". I think it went quite well.

Afterwards, however, I found an art class that the Cap'n had set up. Lera was posing. Nude, of course. Intoxicating as this was, I felt I had to leave. I was almost out the door when chaos started.

Demian Tempres stole paint from another artist. Soon enough, paint was flying everywhere. I commed the Cap'n to get his intangible butt down here and I was hit in the face with black paint. That's when I lost it and pinned Tempres to the wall.

The Cap'n and I agree he needs some sessions with me. *sigh* I'm exahsted. I've been awake for days. I need a nap. Too bad I need the SDT to do it. Ahh, Sensory deprivation. The only sleep for a fly.

Log 7

Well, I am officially the new ship's counsellor. It's sad leaving K behind, but I must go where I'm needed.

What a way to end a trip! First, K, Dammers, and I riled some students to our side with the truth! It was beautiful. We marched to the Council headquarters, where we were stopped by police vans. K did a seductive dance and I wnet around, messed with their cannons, and drove a van into them. Dammers had ordered an EMP and the van malfunctioned sending me on the side of a building, but it was the council building. Dammers and I rushed up.

What we found were a bunch of old hypocrites. I still don't know their motives, but I was P.O.'d that they were forbidding everyone else on the planet to do what they were releshing in. Just for that, I gave them all girl names. The head of the council was named Tongo, but I called him Debbie. It was great. Dammers and I held them and now we're on our way back. What a hectic past couple of days it's been.

What's this?...A letter from K...Oh dear...I don't think this was meant for me...HA! I knew they had a thing for each other!...I should delete this, and not bring it up until I know more about what happened.

Log 6

Heh, sorry I haven't written in a while, but, you know.

See, We were at the Sancuary Speakeasy. Lott was in lady form and we started dancing. We hit it off and one thing led to another and...well...she was amazing! I mean, well... I won't get into details here just in case people are spying. I mean, Dammers already had trouble with his log. Anyway, once that was over, I went with Dammers and the Captain picked us up. He was dressed as a cop, so we had to act convincing. Myself, I drudged up memories of one of my old friends, Johnny, who became a homacidal maniac. I acted nuts. Wow, I hope I never run into him again. Or Norman. Thick as thieves, we three were when we were young. But they went nuts. Although I'm barely gripping onto sanity, I would never resort to dirty tricks or murder.

Anyway, Demian Tempres had been arrested. First, we picked up K and Dem's kids, then we went ot pick up Dem. Only Dem had escaped and went on a rampage to god-knows-where. I just hope we find him in time.

Oh dear, memories of Nny and Norman...

Log 5

Well, I told Dammers, and he seems P.O.'d, but I think he's calmed down. He's probably paranoid. He's cool, though.

Well, we saw a weasel guy get beaten by the cops, and then we had a busride. It was crowded, but I found a place where I could be alone: The cealing. My boss and I were trying to shine a little fun into the life of a cute little girl, but her mom was a jerk to us. Oh well.

Everyone else got off to get something to eat. Lott and I stayed on the bus to go home and eat. However, we were stopped and some cops felt us up. Yikes.

Moreover, the engine broke down. We followed som,e suspicious-looking guy and we ended up back where we started. However, the police came back and felt us up AGAIN! However, most of them were women, so I didn't mind as much. However, they have this annoying habit of calling us "Starfleece" when it's "StarFleet". Jeez, get it right, you bozos.

It was about that time that K and Dammers came out of the resteraunt...in each other's arms! Whoo-Hoo! They're starting to see it! However, I had no time to celebrate as the cops were heading for them. I gave them the heads-up and then carried Lott while I did some amazing (if I do say so myself) Acrobatics to catch up with K and Dammers, who I felt a whole bunch safer with. Even though Dammers almost...you know...blew my head off.

Seems Mon Capitan and Lott were following the guy from earlier. Dammers, K, and I wanted to get home, but the transporters wouldn't be online for another few hours. He tried to see if a small EMP was possible, as we needed to get to the space elevator to go back to the ship and it was most likely guarded against us. That really was a neat idea. I want his autograph.

However, seems we had to follow Mon Capitan to make sure he was alright. And because K and I smelled meat from that direction. However, while The Good Captan was getting in the easy way, K was trying to find Dammers and I a way in and caught people..."In the act". They found it funny. I would have too, if I knew what was going on at first. Well, time to find another way in, then.

Log 4

I hate police. "To serve and protect" indeed.

Well, we were, as you know, in New California to see off the late Flare Strife, on whom I had the unpleasant duity to autopsy. Meaning, he wanted his ashes spread over water.

While I was writing my last log, an interesting thing happened. I pushed a button and it brought me to one of Dammers' logs! I would have commed him at once, except...well, he said some not-nice things about me and I was afraid. But I summoned my courage and told my boss, K'Lynxyl, everything and that I was sorry if I had made her uncomfortible, and asked her if she would accompany me to talk to Dammers. She agreed, and also agreed to start anew as friends, but she gave me a look of pure horror, or at least I think it was pure horror. I wasn't sure whether to be hurt or amused.

I actually admire K and Dammers. Don't ask me why, but I think they're cool. And they should definitely hook up.

Anyway, we ended up on a beach. Dammers was nowhere to be found, and my boss was busy nursing one of Demian Tempres' kids. If it was the boy, he'll have fond memories. If it was the girl...well, actually, you never know.

Anyway, The last words were said. I said stuff. My new friend, Tempres' assistant Lott Tadasi...At least I think that was his name...err...her name...er...Lott changes gender, apparently. I, for one, think it's kinda cool. I wouldn't want to myself, but I sure it comes in handy. Anyway, She (she had shown up as a she) said a few words. K said a few words. Tempres said a few words too many. Insults! At a funeral! I may later say I was possessed by Mr. Strife, but I told him loud and clear to shut the hell up. Of course, I apologized so I wouldn't get in trouble.

Okay, here's where it goes south. There was this nosey police...thing on the beach, giving us looks. I had half a mind to barf on his shoes (were they made of leather, they and his feet would've been gone). But, I didn't. Anyway, El Capitain went to release the ashes and a fish knocked into the urn, making the already woozy Lee drop it. It shattered. The ashes drifted out to sea with the wind, so it was only a minor setback in that respect. But that copper! He had the nerve, the audacity, nay, the unmitigated gaul to charge us with littering and harassment of local wildlife!!!!!! And he fined us!! Pretty steeply.

K'Lynxyl more than made up the difference in Latinum, but that fine was unjust! I have half a mind to sue!

Something tells me we're in for a loooooooong stay here. At least, longer than I'd like, which has already happened hours ago.

Log 3

It's certainly hitting the fan.

It was a tiring experience. First, I watched a 20th century animated movie entitled "The Little Mermaid". I liked it, but I didn't have the guts to tell anyone, so I said I was forced to watch it. Apparently, the entire crew had already disembarked on New California with the exception of myself, my boss, and Tempres. When I asked K when we'd be leaving, she slammed the door in my face! Can you believe that?!

Well, I believe that higher rank or not, She sould still give me an apology. And she kept blowing me off! I disembarked with them because I heard the crew was in trouble down there, but she still owed me an apology.

The thing I can't believe was that even after hearing word that there was risk of physical injury, Tempres still brought his F***ing kids! I mean, seriously!

After an...interesting elevator ride, we came into this lush lobby. Again, I told my boss, K'Lynxyl, that I deserved an apology. She didn't think I needed one. She said I accused her of stripping. I had never heard anything more rediculous. Then I remembered. On our first meeting (when I was suspicious of her "tampering" the body of the late Flare Strife, who's request to be scattered at sea brought us here in the first place), K'Lynxyl removed some prostetics revealing that she was part Kzin. Not to be intimidated, I remarked "Are you going to get to the point, or are you going to striptease?". Could it be possible she took that literally?

Apparently so, however, she did apologize. Well, not a real apology, but I accepted because I figure that in her current mood, it was the best she could do. So we chased off a bunch of protesters and are en route to...say, where are we going anyway? I was so intent on getting that apology that I wasn't paying attention to where we're supposed to go. Oh boy, I'm sure that'll come back to haunt me.

Holodeck log 1

I feel like such an idiot.

Until next time.

End holodeck log.

Log 2

We had a funeral for that Flare guy I examined. They cremated him, though I distinctly smelled burgers. A suspicious looking stew lead myself and my new boss, an attractive Catian/Kzin named K'Lynxyl, to point fingers at each other and suspect each other of eating parts of the corpse. However, we soon dismissed the idea.

Now, I said that K'Lynxyl was attractive. Why didn't I make a move? Why, because of Dammers.

Milton Dammers. I had read something on him I can't remember, and had liked what I had read. The guy is a nutcase, through and through, but the same could be said about me and the entire crew. I feel at home.

But I digress. I noticed (in the way I do) that K'Lynxyl and Dammers are in love. It's quite obvious. The only two that don't seem to realize it are themselves. It seems they're trying to deny the feelings they have for each other. Me being the little matchmaker I am, I tried to help them. Dammers was P.O.'d in that way he gets, and K seemed quite uncomfortible. I guess I have to work with them a little longer. "All you need is love".

We're supposed to go on a bit of a shore leave. Seems a little quick after the arrival of myself and some extreamly odd fellow. I think he called himself "Redforde" or something. Oh well. Even if I'm not on the ship, I'll send El Capitain some logs so he won't worry about me.

TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE!!!!!

Hehe, sorry. Always wanted to say that. Okay, I'm really gonna go this time.

Log 1

I...uh...don't keep track of dates, so I don't know what the date is. Just info for later.

Well, it's my first day on the Freedom, and what a day. I was hoping for a more lighthearted atmosphere. Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

A Starfleet officer came down. Relieved, I alerted him to my presence. He saw me, shrieked like a woman, and fired at me! I later found out that he, one Chief Engeneer Damien Tempres, was unnerved to say the least from recent disasters. El Capitain, Lee by name, was very understanding. However, I arrived at a most inopretune time.

It seems that the Chief of Security, a one Flare Strife, had passed away just seconds before my arrival. They had thought he had a stroke, but I had proved by tilting his head that his brain had melted. Apparently, this was due to a breif psychic episode.

I can't wait to meet my boss. She (at least I got the impression of a She) was, I'm told, taking it pretty hard, and was absent from sickbay when I ran a diagnostic and prepared the body. I wish I had gotten to meet the humanoid who I had to prepare for burial or whatever.

Seth M. Brundle signing off and heading for the tub.

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