SD 1/13/07 - "When Pirates Walk the Plank" From my point of view, it was over before it had barely begun.

The last thing I remember was getting ready for the wargames. The next thing I know, I'm sitting on the floor of the Bridge, the ship being boarded by Federation personel from another ship, and me dressed up in some silly pirate outfit that looked like one of those holovids I once watched for a few chuckles, what was the name again, "Pirate Two-Patches."

Apparently for the past few weeks, I had been suffering from a bout of amnesia thinking I really was this fictional pirate. The crew more or less went along, and we had some sucesses, boarding a number of freighters, including a Ferrengi. It seems although the wargames was to be held within a single cubic parsec, a glitch gave us a space ten long, wide, and across, or a thousand. The statement given to the freighters was the games would be held in just one tenth of a parsec cubed. The area we got by accident covered some space lanes, and thus cargo ships fell into our traps.

Looking over our combat logs, aparrently my amnesia didn't affect my ability to make tactical decisions. And the crew went along with it. Maybe they thought it was an act, though Half acted like she knew I was out of my head. Our biggest catch was the Ferrengi ship Latinum Shine, which had a hidden cargo compartment full of bootleg goods. That smuggling evidence hopefully will save us from being disclipined from having taken their Damion, Kook, prisoner. To complicate matters, Kook's DNA was scrambled with that of a hamster, giving him a rodentlike apperance. As it turns out, he's the son of the dratsad who enslaved Tarra a few years ago and had the audacity to demand her return. I can't help but wonder if that was done deliberately, though with this guy, I wouldn't care except for what Admiral S'Cowl might do. On a final note about his ship, his safe contained far less latinum than what might be expected. Probably from gambling as only Half, Lynx, and Lott had access to it, and none of them would just swipe something, would they?

And so we went, plundering freighters, and engaging in debauchary and revelry. Apparently after our robbing the Seagrass, most of us were so boozed up, only a handful of redshirts and Yeomen were able to man battle stations when the Federation Cruiser Dangermouse was spotted closing in. Halfpipe was able to get to the bridge, and Lott to Engineering, but they could only do so much. Especialy with Half due to an inexperienced redshirt at Tactical, and getting a load of snow dumped on her when he pressed the wrong button. The Combat simulation programing calculated enough phaser and torpedo hits to drop the shields, and a boarding party was beamed over. I can only wonder what the Vulcan officer who beamed to the Bridge thought of that cardboard cutout of Commander Spock of the Enterprise under Kirk at the Science station. What the hey was that doing there? It was this time I snapped out of my amnesia, the game having come to an end.

So we're on our way back to the starbase, escorted by the victorious Dangermouse. Talking with their Bolian captain, he was mostly full of gloat about his beating us, but gave hints we could be in trouble by taking advantage of the slip-up giving us a lot more territory than we were supposed to have. I wanted to ask him more, but he seemed to be in a hurry to get back to watching recordings of the Terran early 21st Century entertainers "Blue Man Group."

Then there were these rumors of Kook's treatment, Lott supposedly swallowing him alive and throwing him back up only when he gave the combination to the safe, and Lynx and Tarra doping him up and treating him like a housepet. Then there are these reports of Lott surprising two of the boarding party and swallowing them, and throwing them back up in a bathroom and locking it to detain them before the ship was secured. I've heard stories before that her Naga body has given Lott something of an "oral fixation," but these rumors of her playing around with lives could spell trouble.

Less worrisome are the rumors that Tarra and her Security team were in a catnip buzz when one of the boarding party beamed over to their location. It turned out to be Tarra's old friend from the BoReD, Khaelis, completely de-Borged and looking more like the short Kzin he was, albeit someting of a big goof of one judging by the report I got of him. One male versus a room of frisky females, with Lynx's "toy closet" at their disposal ... that probably explains some of the snickers I've heard from some of the boarding party.

I don't now whether to envy him or feel sorry for him. Maybe envy, as I have to face S'Cowl.

And I can still hardly believe I actualy wore that silly puffy shirt. And how in the hey did I see through those two eyepatches?

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